‘I won that money fair and square': After woman wins grandpa's secret competition to see who visits him the most, rest of the family protests that she gives the prize money back

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    "I won that money fair and square"
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    AITA for accepting the prize money for winning a game I didn't know I was playing?
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    So I (21F) went to my grandads (80M) house last week and he handed me a jar full of cash with my name on it. He told me to count it and it came to £3200. I asked him what it was for and he explained the rules of the game he'd been playing with the whole family:
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    From the 1st of December 2023, to the 31st December 2023, everytime a member of the family visited him, he'd put £100 in their jar for every hour they spent with him. At the end of the month, the person who spent the most time with him would receive all of the money in their jar, and the others
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    would get nothing. He obviously didn't tell anybody that he was doing this so that no one spent extra time with him to get the money. I won his "game" by £600, so 6 hours more than the person who came second (my uncle).
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    At first I didn't want to accept the money, only because I didn't think it was right to play games with people without them knowing, especially not your family. But after a while he convinced me to take my prize money because I "earned it".
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    When I got home, I told my parents about the money and explained his game to them. I told my mum where she came on the scoreboard (4th) and she was understandably upset at her father for making us unknowingly compete with each other. Then she told the rest of the family via a group chat.
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    So now pretty much my whole family is mad at my grandad for doing this, but also me for accepting the money. He is an old man and he's not exactly a millionaire, so they think that I should have refused the money and confronted him for what he did. I think
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    that if he was willing to play this game then he obviously has no problem with giving the money away, and he did. insist on me taking it. Also, he's always been a weird guy, so although I don't agree with what he did, I'm not too
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    surprised, so I don't think I should have had to start an argument with him about it. Edit: sorry I didn't make it clear enough, this took place between December 1st and December 31st of last year, so only lasting one month.
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    Each person who visited him had a separate jar, so my jar had £3200 in it because I spent 32 hours with him. Other people had different amounts in their jars, but I only received what was in mine. :)
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    Another Edit: Thank you for all of the responses so far. I've seen a lot of comments about how his game was unfair because some people have more free time. That's completely true, although in this case, don't assume that just because I'm young, I have
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    more free time. I have a full time job, a partner, and a small side business to run, I have significantly less free time than most of my family, apart from maybe my uncle, who works slightly more hours than me. The majority of my family work part time or not at all,
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    and only my aunt has a young kid to attend to, but she doesn't work either. I'm not saying the game was fair, but I think most of my family would not have trouble finding the spare time to spend with him, some would just rather be doing anything else :/
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    bobofiddlesticks · 21 hr. ago Partassipant [2] ΝΤΑ And if you feel bad about receiving this money, might I suggest you spend it on experiences for you and your granddad to share?
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    Wild_Stick_5998 OP · 21 hr. ago He does keep talking about wanting to go abroad somewhere, I could spend it on us both having a nice holiday :)
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    AgeThink3830 - 21 hr. ago This is the way. Probably your family is jealous that you got the money and they are ashamed that they dont visit him so often? NTA for taking the money. 10x NTA when you spend
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    it for quality time with him... i would give all my money to have quality time with my grandma again... enjoy every second!
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    stressedpesitter . 22 hr. ago Enthusiast [5] NTA. Personally I think this game just shows which people in the family get along with him better/feel a certain closeness and understanding with your grandpa and thus spend time. together. Is it a bit rude to put that
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    into monetary value? A bit, but he's free to do what he wants, though I suspect now he'll just get many more visits around xmas and he will not give money again next year. G
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    Wild_Stick_5998 OP · 22 hr. ago Yeah, he told me he wouldn't do it again next year, but I'm not going to tell anyone he said that. I'm just going to enjoy watching everyone tripping over each other to go and visit him
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    agent674253 · 18 hr. ago NTA He could pick a random month each year, keep people guessing and showing him some face-time year-long, as they never know when it is a 'contest' month. /serious
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    daniday08 6 hr. ago I actually think that's kind of sad :(at least while he was playing this game he knew people were there to visit him, now he won't know going forward if people
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    really want to spend time with him or if they are just hoping to get some money for it. I hope this doesn't cause more upset for you and your family.
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    Ok Government_4222 · 22 hr. ago Partassipant [3] NTA - my grandparents talked about doing something similar! Certain amounts for texts, phone calls, in person visits, etc. He wants to see his family! It's his money, he can do as he
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    pleases with it, and he showed how much you visiting him meant. Your family is just bitter because it's a large amount. If your uncle, your mom, your aunt, your cousin would've received it- everyone else would be jealous of the person that got it. NTA,
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    enjoy your time with your grandpa. You didn't know you were being given money to hang out with him, you just visited him because you love him. Don't let your family get you down because you love your grandpa.
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    Wild_Stick_5998 OP · 22 hr. ago Thanks :) I'm hoping that they now realise how important it is to him that they go and spend time with him
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    MissSparkles89 21 hr. ago Partassipant [3] Has your grandpa ever used his words and asked them? It can be hard for certain people depending what is going on in their lives. And also...has 'he' been visiting them?
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    Wild Stick_5998 OP · 21 hr. ago Yeah, he tries to organise things all the time that people don't show up for, despite saying that they will. I understand that people have jobs and kids and stuff, but if you say that you can come and see him, it's a
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    little rude to change your mind last minute. And with his age he struggles to get around without someone driving him, so he can't really go and visit the family himself, skmeone would have to pick him up.
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    lostdad75- 21 hr. ago NTA. From the perspective of a parent of adult kids; I would be proud of my 21 y/o who regularly visited their grandparent. Your mothers reaction was selfish.
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    Wild_Stick_5998 OP 21 hr. ago Thanks, although I should clarify that my mum isn't one of the people that's upset with me, the rest of my family us. She was kinda annoyed at my grandad but isn't too bothered that I took the money :)
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    lostdad 75 21 hr. ago yes, but Mom reached out to the others which guaranteed a reaction and the reaction is what has you questioning your judgement.
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    prettyinpinkleather - 21 hr. ago You're NTA for accepting the money, but i wouldve kept it to myself. There's a reason why gdad didnt say anything (apart from not wanting to buy his familys time). It's just creating unnecessary conflict.
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    Fragrant_Song5823 · 21 hr. ago Partassipant [2] It might be a hard one to explain to his parents though, given the large sum so perhaps Op had to tell. The mum didn't have to go broadcasting it though. She's a TA here
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    prettyinpinkleather · 21 hr. ago I guess I'm assuming since OP is 21 she doesn't have to run her money through her parents. But yeah no mom is definitely wrong here
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    Wild_Stick_5998 OP · 21 hr. ago I do live with my parents and while my money isn't really any of their business, if they received a large amount of money they would certainly share it with me, like when my dad got his redundancy money and took us all on holiday, so I would have felt bad if I didn't tell them.
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    MissSparkles89 · 21 hr. ago Partassipant [3] You are NTA, but I'm afraid your grandfather is. The only reason he did this was to create drama and fighting within the family, and while you've gotten money, you're also the focus of this.
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    Just because a relative didn't visit as much doesn't mean they don't care. If someone is from out of town and has a lot of family, it can be really difficult to see all of them, far less for a huge chunk of time. How much visiting did he do btw? I bet he wouldn't appreciate it if the family
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    started keeping score on him. Its not fair that he did this, its great you've spent a lot of time with him but the rest of the family isn't awful because they didn't. If anyone has a lot of work, young kids, disabled, there are lots of reasons they can't make as much time as you're able. Doesn't mean they don't care.
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    Family are now angry and upset with him, if he thinks that'll get him more visits, he's sadly mistaken. You can keep the money, it was his to give but be careful of these twisted games in the future. Sorry you're dealing with this.

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